
Unglücklich das Land,
das Helden nötig hat. (“Unhappy the Land that needs
heroes.”)
--Galileo in Brecht’s Leben des Galilei
Dislike of the Subject
As poet Marianne Moore
once said about Poetry, “I too dislike it.” Apparently Brecht disliked it as well. I can’t say that I’m crazy
about it either.
In these post-9/11 days, the word
“hero” has been bandied about so recklessly that it’s lost
all its juice, and has come to mean virtually anyone in a
combat situation. But not very long ago, it had a more
grandiose ring. In fact, to anyone who clings to the belief
in the fragile, imperfect core idea of democracy—that a
group of one’s “peers” can be more or less trusted to make
decisions that will further the interests of society as a
whole—the notion of heroes is guaranteed to make one squirm.
It smacks of older, more hierarchical social systems; it’s
redolent with blood and gore instead of peaceful
compromise; it undercuts the democratic citizen’s sense of
his own worth in favor of a vague, generic being who by
definition is superior to him. I don’t like heroes, mutters
the democratic citizen under his breath. I’ll be my own
hero.
And yet, like it or not, pre- and post
9/11, we live with heroes from the day we’re born: our
shadowy parents, a benevolent teacher, a character in a
nursery rhyme or children’s book, a sports star—all fairly
remote figures who give way to the taller, more socially
gifted, prettier, more competent of our schoolmates. (And
this doesn’t even include the inflated superheroes of
cartoons and TV that dull the genuine pain of admiration and
propel us into a world of solipsistic fantasy.) Though
sometimes the envy engendered by childhood hero-worship is
almost too much to bear, if one doesn’t end up paralyzed one
learns from childhood heroes, one tries on their skins to
see what parts fit, what parts don’t.
Hopefully, there’s a qualitative
difference between the heroes of childhood and adulthood
that lends a little credence to the cliché that age brings
wisdom. As we get older, we don’t simply admire power,
wealth, beauty, strength. If we’ve achieved a level of
self-love by, say, the age of 25, the nature of our heroes
changes. Just as we’ve discovered that life will involve a
struggle to get what we want, and that a great part of the
struggle will be in finding the balance between doing what
we feel like and what we have to do in order to survive, our
heroes take on a more nuanced, perhaps humbler shape. We
begin to admire qualities like fortitude, rectitude,
idealism, and especially persistence, the ability to
persevere against difficult odds. Our heroes more closely
resemble ourselves.
All of this, however, is about personal
heroes; it doesn’t speak to Brecht’s note of caution. We all
recognize the despotic types that Brecht was thinking of
when he put those words into his protagonist’s mouth, and,
like him, we know that we should approach the question of
national heroes very, very carefully. Yet when we look
around at the present political scene, the view is pretty
different from Brecht’s. Instead of having powerful, savage
leaders like the ones that he worried about, we’re for the
most part led by figures who are more or less adept at
managing government or playing politics or rabble-rousing,
but who lack what used to be called vision. Our
technical ability to transfer someone’s face onto millions
of tee-shirts hasn’t produced any new public heroes: neither
George W. Bush nor Osama bin Laden has achieved the status
of a Che.
Actually, the question of national
heroes may be very different from the one Brecht’s Galilei
implicitly posed. Given the Byzantine complexity of
present-day democratic institutions, is it possible—forget
desirable-- to have leaders who are more than slightly
drunken captains of runaway ocean liners? Can there be
national heroes in a time when the ships of state, or more
accurately the juggernaut of international capitalism, is
out of anyone’s control?
The Hero As Myth and
Bad Dancer
A stab at a distinction between heroes
and leaders might be useful at this point. (A distinction
especially called for in German, given the loaded
connotations of the word “Führer.”)
When we try to describe a pattern of
heroic behavior, we generally come up with a picture of
heroes as solitary fellows who face a series of “tests,”
both simple and complex. In the course of going through
these tests they realize that they have a particular gift or
message to pass on, and they spend most of the rest of their
lives struggling to convince others of the rightness of
their cause. In general, heroes are more comfortable in the
world of myth than of “reality.” When they overstep their
limits and become, for instance, statesmen like Nelson
Mandela or Vaclav Havel, they may encounter problems that
they hadn’t bargained for. Though occasionally a leader—
Lincoln is probably the best example—finds himself being put
through a series of tests that make him an unwilling hero,
taking him from a relatively safe life into a world of great
loneliness and power, the hero/leader is very rare. Most
heroes don’t make very good leaders—at least not in the long
term-- and most leaders don’t come close to being heroes. In
a sense, it’s easier to talk about heroes than leaders,
because heroes tend to be interchangeable, while whether or
not someone makes a good leader depends on whom he has to
lead, and when.
In his
classic 1953 work, The Hero with a Thousand Faces,
the mythologist Joseph Campbell breaks down the heroic
journey even further:
Initially unwilling to heed his peculiar “call,” the hero is
coaxed along, according to Campbell, by various gatekeeper
figures until he enters a world of darkness and danger. He
grapples with malevolent male and female gods until he
absorbs their power and sees their more benevolent sides. By
facing danger squarely, the psyche of the hero frees itself
of childhood fears and dependencies, and he emerges as an
adult with a sense of mission. But his ordeal isn’t over.
Equipped with new-found self-confidence, he’s required to
return to a world that is either indifferent or hostile, or
he finds that the bliss of his enlightenment may have made
the “real” world distasteful. If he gets over this
depression and sense of rejection, he has the potential to
pass on his message to a society that can use it to restore
a sense of newness and purpose.
Even
if overly schematic, this paradigm helps us see the
connections between the classic heroes—the Christs, Moseses,
Buddhas, Odysseuses. Campbell and his Jungian colleagues
make a convincing case, it seems to me, that the pattern is
archetypal, and that if not everyone lives a life in which
he feels that he has a higher destiny, all of us feel it
sometimes, and strive, however unconsciously, to get in
touch with the parameters of that destiny.
For
all his enthusiasm with mythology, Campbell is pretty
discouraged about its relevance to contemporary life:
Today all of these mysteries have lost their force;
their symbols no longer interest our psyche. The
notion of a cosmic law, which all existence serves
and to which man himself must bend, has long since
passed through the preliminary mystical stages
represented in the old astrology, and is now
accepted in mechanical terms as a matter of course.
The descent of the Occidental sciences from the
heavens to the earth (from seventeenth century
astrology to nineteenth century biology), and their
concentration today, at last, on man himself (in
twentieth century anthropology and psychology), mark
the path of a prodigious transfer of the focal point
of human wonder. Not the animal world, not the plant
world, not the miracle of the spheres, but man
himself is now the crucial mystery. Man is that
alien presence with whom the forces of egoism must
come to terms, through whom the ego is to be
crucified and resurrected, and in whose image
society is to be reformed.
If one
considers slightly more recent literary incarnations of the
hero or anti-hero—I’m thinking of Don Quixote and
Thus Spake Zarathustra—Campbell’s quiet pessimism rings
true. Next to the fleshy myths of earlier heroes, these
anemic figures show us the hoops that an author has to jump
through to find a way to refresh the concept of the hero.
Don Quixote and Zarathustra might look so unheroic to Homer
or the writers of the Gospels that they couldn’t be blamed
for missing the similarities between their iconic figures
and these weird modern spin-offs.
Cervantes himself has been chastised by literary critics for
being too hard on his “hero.” In a 1998 essay in The New
York Review of Books, the Belgian writer Simon Leys
described Cervantes’s attempt to write a best seller by
debunking the literature of Chivalry popular in his time,
and how critics from Montherlant to Unamuno to Nabokov
criticized him for dwelling on Quixote’s absurdity at the
expense of his humanity. If not for Quixote’s lovability,
how does one account for the staying power of the book,
which is really just an endless series of variations on the
theme of Quixote’s foolishness?
I
think that part of Don Quixote’s continued
appeal lies in the added value of “sincerity” as a heroic
virtue in modern times. However “deluded” Quixote is—and one
can make a good case that Cervantes actually proves what he
sets out to disprove, namely, that Chivalry exists—Don
Quixote not only believes in the principles that he sets
forth but acts on them. It isn’t by success that we judge
the Good Don but by the sincerity of his efforts; and it may
even be the futility of his actions (think of Beckett’s
line: “I don’t care about success. I only care about
failure.”) that makes us love and identify with him.
This
suggests another aspect to the hero that’s become more
obvious in modern times as our attitude toward strength and
power has shifted, and many of us consider these qualities
evil by definition. Leys identifies Quixote as a “loser,”
saying that “the successful man adapts to the world. The
loser persists in trying to adapt the world to him.
Therefore all progress depends on the loser.” If we think
of Christ on the Cross, the loneliness of the Buddha, or the
many times that Odysseus escapes certain death only by the
whim of a bored god or goddess, it’s true that the the
“loser” aspect of the hero accounts for a great part of his
attractiveness, and that in our success-driven atmosphere
originality and clear-sightedness may be even more unpopular
than they were in Plato’s cave.
But
what are we to make of the blustering windbag of a puppet
with the odd name of Zarathustra, whose creator-puppeteer,
plagued by physical ailments and horrible shyness, is hardly
anyone’s model of a hero-maker?
First
of all, Nietzsche’s master work shows us how impoverished
our ability to think up heroic myths has become. Though
Nietzsche attempts to invest his “story” with some of the
trappings of myth (the old man who initiates Zarathustra
into the Mysteries, the animals that surround and support
him, his period of isolation and wish to rejoin the world,
his sense of a “higher destiny”), the book as fiction
rattles like an old suit of armor, and some of its pithier
statements read today like, God help us, the worst of pop
psychology. Who can avoid in the following paragraph
picturing a bunch of privileged Americans of the 1960’s
cavorting around an Esalen campfire?
Zarathustra the dancer, Zarathustra the light, waves
with his wings, ready for flight, waving at all
birds, ready and heady, happily lightheaded;
Zarathustra the soothsayer, Zarathustra the
sooth-laugher, not impatient, not unconditional, one
who loves leaps and side-leaps: I myself have put on
this crown! (Part IV, Chapter 13, section 18)
And
yet one is moved by Zarathustra just as much as by
Quixote, I think because the author’s yearning behind
his character is so palpable. If Don Quixote reeks of
sincerity while his creator reeks of irony, something of the
opposite is true in Zarathustra. While Zarathustra
often speaks in what must be considered at least a
quasi-ironic mode—“’Man must become better and more
evil’—this I teach... It may have been good for that
preacher of the little people that he suffered and tried to
bear man’s sin. But I rejoice over great sin as my great
consolation” (IV, 13, 5)—there’s nothing ironic about the
sensibility behind Zarathustra’s voice. Nietzsche rages
against organized religion, rationality, all that he
considers standing in the way of a freer, more impulsive
existence—for, if not everyone, then at least for Nietzsche
himself and a few select friends. We feel his rage, and we
feel his sincerity: both are so intense that they become
inspiring. This man with all his physical and psychosomatic
ills, his long periods of isolation, his struggles with
female figures that Campbell might call “Temptresses,” and
most of all the boldness of his conviction, actually has the
earmarks of the classic hero. Yet it’s doubtful that
Nietzsche would have wanted to be seen as a hero; more
likely, he’d have regarded idolizing himself as worshiping
yet another false God, and kicked his statue over.
It
appears that in modern or post-modern times if people can no
longer invent heroic myths, some of us can still live heroic
lives.
Looking for a Good Leader: A Glance at Plutarch’s
Lives
Whatever else he may be, the hero seems to be He Who Thinks
for Himself. This paradigm probably emerged around the time
when society consisted of more than one person, and it has
persisted as an ideal right up to the most hackneyed of
contemporary American advertising slogans about “thinking
outside the box,” “marching to the beat of a different
drummer,” etc. etc. ad nauseam. It’s remarkable how each era
finds a way to express a yearning for heroism, and that it
remains as rare as ever.
In
part this is because of the suffering that accompanies the
heroic quest. Most of us sense this early, whether it’s in
the tedium of practicing violin or the fear of going against
our parents’ wishes to take over the family business and
become an actor or hip-hop singer instead. It’s
understandable that we prefer to please and be comfortable
rather than to suffer for our ideals, and so for many of us,
having a “calling”—the heroic urge to do something with
passion—is fought down until it atrophies and dies. Others
substitute conventional ideas of ambition and success for
the pain of heroic loneliness, and tend to regard those few
among us who resemble heroes with suspicion and disdain.
It’s not easy being a hero: as much as we may idealize them
in stories, we’re not very comfortable with them as our
next-door neighbors.
However, we’re still stuck with the more immediate question
of good and bad leaders, and what if anything they have to
do with heroes. I thought that it would be instructive to
take a look at the work of one of history’s great students
of leaders, Plutarch, especially his Lives of the Greeks.
(Though he matched Greek biographies with Roman ones,
Plutarch’s heart, it seems to me, was with his own
countrymen—apparently his Latin was far from fluent—and he’s
much more relaxed and perceptive about the hedonistic,
mercurial Greeks than the clay-footed Romans.)
After
having been away from Plutarch’s Lives for years, one
forgets how much of it is about power, blood, fighting, war.
(Of course, as we’ve seen, a hero fights too, but his
struggles are more idiosyncratic, and may be just as
distinguished in losing as in winning.) But to be a good
leader in Plutarch’s or anyone else’s estimation, one must
win, and so the greater part of Plutarch’s Lives is
taken up with military tactics, intrigue, preparation for
battle, finding the right balance between inspiring loyalty
in one’s troops and placating the polis, and personal
bravery.
But if
one reads the Lives with a little care, one finds
that the figures whom Plutarch admires most—people like
Lycurgus, Solon, Cimon, Pericles—are not only victorious
generals but are all characterized by self-control,
restraint-- the cardinal virtue of Greek philosophy. Solon
earns Plutarch’s praise when, as the first great leader of
Athens, he resists becoming a despot, supposedly saying to
his friends “that while tyranny may be a delightful spot,
there is no way back from it” (Solon, 14).Cimon is praised
for his “calmness,” and the general atmosphere of civilized
politeness between him and Pericles “just goes to show how
in those days quarrels were conducted with civility,
feelings were moderate, and people had no difficulty
restraining them if the public good was at stake; even
ambition, which is the most powerful and dominant human
emotion, used to be subordinate to human emergencies” (Cimon,
17). Even Pericles’s appearance reflects perfect composure:
... the tranquility of his features that never broke
into laughter, his self-possessed gait, the way his
clothing was arranged in such a way that it was
never distorted by any emotion while he was
speaking, and his calm tone of voice, all of which
made a remarkable impression on everyone. (Pericles,
5)
It’s
clear that Plutarch’s main reason for admiring restraint is
that he and his countrymen worried a good deal about their
leaders becoming too powerful; they knew how easily
democracy could shade into despotism. One of the most
striking details of Greek political life that emerges in
reading the Lives is how many times a leader might
actually be sent into exile for becoming too popular, only
to be called back in a time of crisis.
But
however much Plutarch admired restraint, he, like Cervantes
or any other good writer, sometimes conveys the opposite of
what he intended. As admirable as conscientiousness and
forbearance may be in theory, Plutarch never succeeds in
making them more than mildly interesting. The two leaders
who stand out among his biographies are the controversial
Alcibiades and Alexander—Alcibiades, you may remember, being
the handsome young trouble-maker whom Socrates flirts with
in The Symposium, who defaced the herms in the
Athenian agora, encouraged the disastrous Sicilian campaign
and changed loyalties between Athens and Sparta as often as
a tennis player changes tee-shirts; and Alexander the young
conqueror who died at 32, bringing glory but also despotism
and chaos to the Macedonians.
That
these figures are more attractive than the others
brings us to a problem that we know from our personal lives
but don’t often apply to democracy: namely, that what we
need and what we want may be two different things. Who would
disagree that virtues like generosity (megalophrosynē),
kindness (philanthropia), ambition (philotimia),
brilliance (lamprotēs), and self-possession (praotēs)—qualities
that as Philip Stadter points out in the Oxford edition of
Plutarch—are found on inscriptions in hundreds of
public sites in ancient Greece and Romeare exactly what
any society would value in its leaders? Given the
bureaucratic nature of government, we may need these
modest, attainable virtues much more than heroic ones, and
our best leaders, at least in peaceful times, may simply be
people who understand the bureaucratic machinery and
administer it with compassion and intelligence.
But
what we want—and at certain crisis times may in fact
need—can run more along the lines of an Alexander or
Alcibiades than a Solon or Pericles. Charismatic types
bordering on despots. Napoleon. Bolivar. Roosevelt. Castro.
Men filled with a gigantic sense of self-importance, even
megalomania, but also boundless energy. Men (and in the
future women) who create grand systems that only function
well under their leadership and then collapse after they’re
gone, but who move history a few steps “forward." In short,
people with heroic vision— but who also threaten the checks
and balances of democracy. Which brings us right back around
to Campbell, at least to that aspect of the hero who knows
something that no one else knows, and insists on selling it
to the rest of the world.
The
problem is that there’s a fine line between heroes and
demagogues, and this is what gets us into trouble. Do we
really want demagogues as leaders? Unfortunately, like
it or not, that seems to be where we’re heading in the
present phase of history. Le Pen, Haider, Bin Laden, the
forces behind George Bush—all suggest a lessening of
democratic participation and a wish on the part of large
segments of the population for despots.
No
doubt this has to do with a pervasive sense of instability,
precariousness, in the world. Both our economic and
political systems seem frayed at the edges, maybe even
riddled by organic flaws. We also feel threatened by a
somewhat vague but palpable Enemy— people to the East who’ve
been neglected by us and abused by their own
leaders—gathered outside our gates. No one knows exactly who
should lead us against this Enemy, and how much of the
Enemy’s menace is of our own making. Won’t someone please
tell us what to do?
It may
be that in the short term, the best that we can hope for in
a leader is a compromise figure, someone in between
the corporate manager and the despot—the tyrant with
compassion, the visionary who’s also a nice guy. Again,
Lincoln comes to mind: apparently a sweet, entertaining man
with a tragic private life, in wartime he discovered inner
resources of forcefulness and an ability to plot military
strategy far better than that of his indecisive generals.
In
more recent times, one might look for partial inspiration,
partial hope, to Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela.
Though more heroes than leaders, they come close to
combining the suffering and vision of the Campbellian hero
with the restraint and self-awareness of Plutarch’s leaders.
Their stories are already a combination of fact and legend:
their long periods in jail, their ability to extend their
personal visions into universal ones, their remarkable blend
of compromise and unwillingness to compromise—a place, you
might say, where Machiavelli meets Achilles: these qualities
among many others make them divine accidents, products of
rare moments when a just cause finds its champion. Not
exactly heroes, not exactly saints, as leaders ( in
Mandela’s case anyway) only adequate, on second thought
maybe they aren’t to be admired or emulated as much as to be
put on postage stamps—examples of the ability of human
beings to occasionally get something right.
The Everyday Hero: A Personal Reminiscence
If
heroes as Campbell describes them are almost extinct,
and modern societies can’t figure out who they want to lead
them, whom can we admire beyond CEO’s and basketball players
with obscene salaries, or movie stars with less than 1% body
fat?
I
suspect that at some point it comes down to everyday
heroes—people whom we as individuals both want and need to
admire.
Several years ago, during a particularly self-pitying
psychoanalytic hour, my therapist asked me whom I admired
most.
He
gave me a moment and then said, “I’ll bet that this person
wasn’t born with a silver spoon in his mouth. I’ll bet that
he had to struggle through some rough times before he became
the person you admire.”
It was
Seymour Krim! I’d had no idea that he was the person I
admired most. I knew his bad sides—his sharp tongue, his
wide streak of misogyny—so could it be true that he was my
hero? But my Unconscious had spoken, and I had to listen.
You
may never have heard of the New York writer Seymour Krim.
Fifteen years after his death he’s virtually forgotten, and
even during his lifetime his work was overshadowed by more
famous contemporaries like Norman Mailer and Tom Wolfe. Yet
there’s a case to be made that Krim was the father of the
American New Journalism (what these days college English
departments call “creative nonfiction”), and that his view
of mid-century New York City was authentic and enduring.
I met
him—no, I knew him before I met him, I knew him even before
I read him. I knew him the minute I saw the cover of
his 1961 book, Views of a Near-sighted Cannoneer—the
oddest title coupled with an equally odd picture of a
youngish, curly-haired man with thick glasses crouching
behind an old cannon, and running along the edge of the
cover a list of the sexiest topics of the time: Sex,
Suicide, Homosexuality, Sportswriting, Jazz, Jews, Negroes,
Genius, Insanity, New York: the Literary Lower Depths. Who
could resist the hip, confessional tone of the very first
page:
Let me say straight out that my point of view has
developed since these [essays] were first written,
that I could not write them the same way today, that
I think their stabs of truth are at times slanted in
subtle or obvious part by personal frustration,
exaggeration, defensiveness—by the fanatical
ego-hunger of the man I then was. I can’t undo
these mistakes. I am proud that I was able to do
what I could. But I have faith that this is only the
beginning of a stand.
What
followed was a mixture of clear observation and
energetic prose by a man who wanted to an author and a
ladies’ man—but who had to struggle through shyness,
depression, a stretch of time in a mental hospital after a
suicide attempt, to become a little of what he wanted to be.
Some of the autobiographical essays were written in a
semi-Beat jargon (Krim edited the first anthology of Beat
writing) that was destined to become dated, but underneath
the over-wrought prose was a sincerity as raw as anything
I’d ever encountered. Reading a few paragraphs of Krim
seemed to make it possible for me to be a writer, too.
I met
him a few years later, spent evenings in his tiny East 10th
Street studio apartment (once he proudly pointed out a piece
of worn carpet on which the young Elizabeth Taylor had sat),
and much later watched him bear up without self-pity under
the onset of congestive heart disease that at the end made
it impossible for him to write. Though he published
relatively little during his lifetime, he lived to write—he
had a string of girlfriends, no wife, had no contact with
his daughter, was the world’s worst dresser: in short, the
perfect picture of the Bohemian—so when his ability to write
was taken away, he told a few close friends of his plan,
took sleeping pills and left us. There must have been 300
people at his memorial service. Everyone who spoke said the
same thing: when they were with him, they felt that he was
speaking directly, intimately, just to them. He had the same
gift in life that he had in writing—to make one feel that he
was speaking from his heart.
I want
to tell a story about Krim and me that is really a story
about stories, the only way that we can know our heroes.
At
some point in the early 80’s, Krim told me that he was
having trouble deciding which prescription of glasses to
wear. He recognized that it was the outward sign of some
deeper malaise that he couldn’t get in touch with. Since I’d
once made a cocky remark about being in psychoanalysis so
long that I’d make a good analyst, he stared at me with a
steady, slightly mischievous look, his lips puckering into a
nervous smile, and asked me if I’d be his analyst. Twenty
years my senior, he was really inviting me to be the
Sorcerer’s Apprentice.
When I
told my shrink about it, he lost it completely. “What, are
you crazy!?”
But
sometimes you have to do crazy things if you want to be a
hero.
Krim
and I met once a week. I was just sane enough to make a deal
with him which stipulated that if after six weeks either of
us wanted to stop, we could, no questions asked. Instead of
paying me, he put aside an amount of money each week for an
indigent writer-friend. We met in his apartment or mine, and
we followed all the rules of therapy—that is, as well as I
knew them. He revealed no great secrets, that much I can
say. By any standards he was in a hell of a lot better shape
than I was, which didn’t mean that I couldn’t help him. And
he felt from the beginning that I was helping him, and was
sweetly pleased and grateful. But I was terrified. I didn’t
want the responsibility of this man putting his life in my
hands. I sensed enough about the concept of “transference”
to see that I had to encourage him to get angry at me, and I
didn’t want to do it: I wanted my mentor back, I still
wanted to be his student. When the six weeks were over, I
called it quits. For a while he was angry and hurt, and
wouldn’t talk to me. But as the years went by he and I found
a new relationship, one more equal than the previous one.
Today
it’s easy for me to see why Krim was my hero. In many ways,
he fit the heroic mold: the isolation, the suffering, the
conviction that hearing his personal voice and using it
honestly was what his life was about. But my role in the
story is less clear. Why did I do such a silly thing?
It
occurs to me that I might have been doing what Campbell
describes as “atonement with the Father.” At the darkest
stage of the hero’s life, according to Campbell, he
confronts all the maleness of the Oedipal father. In
mythology it can take the form of monsters, dragons,
anything that the hero is doubtful that he can cope with.
But rather than brute force, what is required of the hero is
“an abandonment of the attachment to ego itself, and that is
what is difficult. One must have a faith that the father is
merciful, and then a reliance on that mercy.” Strangely
enough, I think that was what I was doing: grappling with,
and submitting to, the scary father.
For I
remember sitting listening to Krim, both scared and
thrilled, as if I were looking danger squarely in the eye.
With each session I grew a little more secure, until by the
end I was relaxed enough to see that he, like all of us, was
just a vulnerable person doing the best he could. This
didn’t make me respect him less, on the contrary--but it did
make him more accessible and perhaps less formidable. Maybe
at the end I could afford to be merciful too, when I
admitted that I wasn’t the right person to help him—not
because I was incompetent, but because I was playing with
fire.
It’s
possible that I have it all wrong, and that I was behaving
like a naughty boy. But I ended up feeling that because of
those six “sessions,” I’d taken a little of Krim inside me.
In the long run, heroes may just be figures in our lives or
imaginations who make it possible for us to come a little
closer to being heroes.
George
Blecher is formerly a professor at Lehman College, CUNY,
and writes essays and articles for many European newspapers
and journals. He is also a translator from Scandinavian
languages (Swedish Folktales and Legends, U. of Minnesota
Press, 2004), and has just finished a collection of short
stories, Other People Exist.
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